Images of the Cast of Home Improvement with the Home Improvement Archive title

Satellite on a Hot Tim's Roof

Episode No# 004
Written by:
Allison M. Gibson
Directed by:
John Pasquin
Transcript by:
Duncan Taylor

Tim Taylor - Tim Allen
Jill Taylor - Patricia Richardson
Randy Taylor - Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Brad Taylor - Zachery Ty Bryan
Mark Taylor - Taran Noah Smith
Wilson - Earl Hindman
Guest Cast
Al Borland - Richard Karn
Lisa - Pamela Denise Anderson
Rondall Kittleman - Sam McMurray
Delivery Man #1 - Rocky Giordani
Delivery Man #2 - Bari K. Willerford
[Opening credits]
Episode begins at the "Tool Time" set, Friday. Tim and Al are by the bench. Tim has a pair of goggles on his head. There is a clamped stool upside-down on the bench.
Tim: O.K. Now that we've finished clamping our stool and the glue is set, let's move on [Al picks up the stool. The seat remains on the bench] to our table top. [Tim walks over to the table top] I'm gonna show you how to do a dato head cut move today. [Al puts the stool legs down] Now a dato is just a carpenter's term for a groove cut into wood, and if you use the word dato, [Al puts the stool seat with the legs] your wife will think you're real intelligent, right Al?
Al: I'm not married, Tim.
Tim: Well, if you use it in a conversation, y'know, maybe you'll get lucky! [Al looks at Tim and then nods] For cutting that dato, we're gonna be using something that looks a lot like this. [Lisa enters with the tool and gives it to Tim]
Lisa: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Ha-ha. [The audience "Oohs". Lisa leaves. Tim looks down at himself, thinking the ooh is for him, not Lisa] Thank you! This is the Binford Mark 3 Super-plunge Router. [Grunts] Ohh! A thing of beauty, isn't it? Three horsepower motor, variable electronic speed control, [Al gets the power lead] and adjustable depth stop system. When using a router, you want to use a real steady hand. [Al plugs in the router]
Al: Well, you might wanna use the guide arm, Tim, so it doesn't get away from you.
Tim: Would you t-. You don't always have to use the guide arm if you have a steady hand.
Al: Well, if you want a straight line, Tim.
Tim: Al, I've been doing this for years, alright? Just hold the table, right? [Al holds the table top steady]
Al: O.K.
Tim: Starter cut, set your depth gauge, and get going. [Tim starts the router. It starts straight and then shoots wildly all over the table top. Al moves back out of the way. Tim pulls the router off the table. Tim stops the router and puts it down on the table. He examines the groove and measures the depth.] Perfect, Al. Does a good job of scrolling, er. While Al cleans up this deliberate mess of mine, [Tim walks over to the bench] I'd like to, uh, welcome a new family member to "Tool Time," [Tim takes off his goggles] Alpena, Michigan. Cold in the winter, pretty cold in the summer too, isn't it [Tim laughs] up there? I kid around with you. It's channel 97 there on your cable box, and I'd like to give the folks up there [Al comes over to Tim] in Alpena, Al, Al, there he is, a "Tool Time" greeting. What d'you say, Al? [Al and Tim salute. Tim grunts] Uhh! Uhh! C'mon guys! Uhh!
Audience: Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh!
Tim: Well, I'll tell you, that's about all for "Tool Time" today. [Tim takes off his tool belt and hands it to Al] I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, [Tim gets his jacket] hoping that all your fastners stay tight! [Tim and Al wave and leave. The "Tool Time" theme music plays. The audience starts to leave]
Cut to the "Tool Time" set, backstage.
[A member of staff gives Tim a bottle of water. Al puts on his coat]
Tim: Thank you. [The member of staff leaves] Good show, Al, good show.
Al: Yeah, right Tim.
Tim: Y'know, I'm installing a satellite dish this Saturday. [Tim drinks from the bottle]
Al: You mean the one we used on the show last week?
Tim: [Tim nods] They almost gave it to me at demo cost. Cost me nothing, man.
Al: I'm happy for you, Tim.
Tim: Well, I was kind of hoping you could stop by Saturday, maybe have lunch and help me put it up.
Al: Pff, aw, gee, well I was kind of hoping to have the weekend alone. Kind of a private man time. [Lisa runs over to them]
Lisa: Al! Oh good, Al.
Al: Yeah?
Lisa: What time did you say you wanted to come over tomorrow to help me put up my bookshelves? [Tim leans behind Lisa]
Al: Er, how about nine o'clock?
Lisa: That's perfect. I'll see you then. Bye Tim. [Lisa leaves]
Tim: See you Lise. Kind of that private man time, huh?
Al: Well, she's a co-worker, Tim. I, I think of her as a man. [Tim looks at Al]
Tim: That's why you're still single, Al! [Tim leaves]
Cut to the backyard, Saturday.
[Brad and Randy are swinging from ropes attached to the roof. Mark is watching them. Tim comes over]
Tim: O.K., once we get that satellite dish put up on the roof there, run that coax cable down the wall there, Mark.
Cut to the living room.
[Tim and Mark enter. Jill is working in the kitchen]
Tim: Run it through the house, across there, attach it to that TV set, and we are equipped to get 200 stations. [Mark sits on the couch]
Jill: 200 stations?
Tim: [Grunting] Yeah!
Jill: Great, now it's gonna take 45 minutes to find out there's nothing on you want to watch!
Tim: [Laughing] Yeah! [The phone rings. Jill answers it. To Mark] Oh. Hey! Can you smell that? That's, that's diesel fumes, that's a turbo diesel, that's, that's 16 speeds, tandem axle, that's a delivery truck! [Grunts] Ohh!
Mark: You can smell that?
Tim: I sure can. C'mon, help me out. [Mark gets up] Go out on that front porch, and see if that delivery truck's on the way because I think our satellite dish is coming. Let me know when it's here.
Mark: O.K. [Mark goes out the front door. Tim goes over to the kitchen and sits down at the worktop]
Jill: [On the phone] Oh, great! You're a lifesaver... No, no, no, no, today is fine. Come right over... Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. O.K. Bye-bye. [Jill hangs up the phone]
Tim: Who was that?
Jill: Rondall.
Tim: Ron-daall?
Jill: Yeah, y'know, the teacher from that job search seminar I've been taking.
Tim: Why's he coming over here?
Jill: Well, last Monday, after class, we were having coffee and he said that anybody who needed--
Tim: [Tim whistles and makes the "Time out" sign with his hands] Time out. Flag that play. Y-you had coffee with Rondall?
Jill: Yeah. [Short pause]
Tim: You didn't tell me, didn't tell me about this coffee.
Jill: Oh, I'm sorry. It was cream, two sugars! [Tim laughs]
Tim: Well, w-was it coffee or coffee and... dancing?
Jill: Uh, Tim, don't be silly. I mean, it was a few of us went out for coffee after--
Tim: --ah, safety in numbers thing.
Jill: Yeah. And, and Rondall said that if anybody needed any extra help, that we should give him a call.
Tim: So you sprinted right over to the phone and called him.
Jill: Yes, he's gonna help me get my résumé in order for that job interview I have Monday.
Tim: Giving up his whole day Saturday, that guy must have a pretty understanding wife.
Jill: He's not married.
Tim: How'd you find that out? During coffee?
Jill: No, while we were dancing! [Tim laughs]
Tim: Yes.
Jill: [Laughing] Tim, what is the matter with you? Don't you trust me?
Tim: Oh, it's not trust, I'm just, I'm just not sure that a man would give up all day Saturday for a woman unless he wanted something in return.
Jill: Tim, he's just a good guy. He's helping me out. [Tim gets up]
Tim: Don't I recall you telling me that he was this big, strapping, cute, big, hunk, kind of guy.
Jill: You know I never said that.
Tim: Is he kind of cute?
Jill: I don't know. Some people would say so.
Tim: [In a deep, hunky voice] Cuter than me?
Jill: Some people would say so! [Tim snuggles into Jill's neck, tickling her. Jill laughs]
Cut to the backyard, later that day.
[The delivery men bring in a huge satellite dish. Brad and Mark are sitting on the porch. Randy is standing by them]
Brad: Whoa! Hey, this is cool!
Tim: Yeah.
Randy: Excellent. [The delivery men put the dish down and lean it against the house]
Tim: It's true parabolic shape. [Jill enters] For super efficient reflectivity, man.
Delivery Man #1: Mr. Taylor, will you sign this please? [Tim signs the form]
Tim: Sure, man.
Jill: Oh my god! This thing is huge! How are you ever gonna get that up on the roof? [Tim points up at the roof]
Tim: Well, that's why I have that pulley ratchet system set up up there. [Delivery Man #1 looks at Delivery Man #2]
Delivery Man #2: Whoa, you're gonna put this up yourself?
Tim: Uh-huh.
Delivery Man #1: [Laughs] Yeah. Right. [The delivery men leave. Tim imitates their laughing]
Jill: Tim, what do you actually know about installing a satellite dish?
Tim: It's simple. Mount it, point it straight up. Any man could do that!
Jill: Yeah but, but it has to stay up longer than 10 seconds! [Tim looks at Jill. The doorbell rings] Ah, that must be Rondall.
Tim: Oh boys, look. It's the dancing coffee drinker!
Jill: Hey, Tim, this interview is really important to me. This guy's gonna help me. Please behave.
Tim: I promise I will be a perfect gentleman the entire time he's here.
Jill: O.K. [Jill goes back inside]
[Randy is reading the instruction booklet]
Randy: How does this thing work, Dad?
Tim: Well, use your imagination, if you will. You look up there, [Randy looks up] satellites orbitting the planet. Sucking up information from every corner of the globe and spitting it back down here to this parabolic dish. Now this is very dangerous though, satellite dishes, because they have a pulse of their own [Tim starts wobbling] and if you, if you don't watch out, they can suck you in.
[Tim, Brad and Mark pretend to be sucked into the dish. They scream. Jill and Rondall enter and come over]
Tim: Help me! Help me!
Jill: Tim. Tim, Tim, this is Rondall Kittleman. Rondall, this is my husband, Tim. [Tim climbs off the dish]
Tim: Hi. [They shake hands]
Rondall: Tim.
Jill: And these are my boys. That's Randy, Mark, and Brad.
Rondall: Hi guys.
Tim: I was, um, I was just showing the kids how scientific these, we just got this.
Rondall: Oh really? It's a beauty.
Randy: Help me Dad, it's sucking me in! [Randy pretends to be sucked into the dish]
Brad: Me too!
Tim: No it's not.
Brad & Randy: Ahhhhhhhhh!
Tim: No it's not. No, I don't know where they get these ideas! C'mon you guys. Get out of here. [Brad and Randy leave]
Mark: Mommy look. I've got a splinter. [Mark shows Jill his finger]
Jill: Oh, honey. Well let's go get the tweezers and we'll get that out. [To Rondall] Will you excuse me? Just a minute. [Jill takes Mark towards the door] Honey, hope you realize I'm gonna have to use the needle.
Mark: Noooooooooo! [Jill and Mark go inside]
Tim: So, Jill's told me a lot about you, Ron.
Rondall: Rondall. It's Ron-dall.
Tim: Great name. [Tim starts climbing the ladder]
Rondall: Y'know, you look familiar. I --
Tim: -- well, you've probably seen me on TV. [Tim starts tying the dish to the ropes] I've got my own home improvement show. Jill told you about it. [Short pause]
Rondall: No. She didn't mention it. [Short pause] Oh, right, right, right, wait a minute, of course, of course, that's why you look familiar. You've got that little tool show on the cable.
Tim: Whoa, y'know, we don't look at it as little because we pick up a lot of cities. We just got Alpena.
Rondall: Oh yeah, really? Both sets? [Rondall laughs] Sorry, I'm just kidding you there, pal.
Tim: That's pretty funny, Rondall. [Tim climbs down the ladder]
Rondall: Oh, um, do that, that, that thing you do on the show, that, that barking sound, that, uh, uff-uff-uff-uff!
Tim: Uh, it's really not barking. It's more of like a, uh, uh, simian grunt. [Grunting] Ohh-ohh!
Rondall: Yeah, barking, grunting, whatever. It's very funny. Very funny show. You're very funny on it.
Tim: But, but it's not all fun and games. It's a home improvement show, basically what we do.
Rondall: Well yeah, but you're, you're very funny on it. I mean, not like the other guy on the show, the guy who knows everything. [Short pause]
Tim: Al. Al's my assistant. He assists me.
Cut to the living room.
[Tim and Rondall enter. Tim walks past Jill]
Jill: I think I've got everything ready. Do you want to get started?
Rondall: Sure.
Tim: I'd like to help you guys, but I'm gonna finish up that satellite stuff.
Jill: Can I take your coat?
Rondall: Oh, thank you. [Rondall gives Jill his coat] Your, uh, husband's putting up a satellite dish, huh?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: This afternoon. [Tim goes into the garage]
Rondall: I, I hope you have some help.
Cut to the garage.
Tim: Don't need any help, bondo! [Tim picks up some gloves]
Cut back to the living room.
[Tim comes back in]
Tim: No, I'm gonna do it all by myself.
Jill: Tim, maybe you should call Al [Jill and Rondall sit down at the table] cuz, y'know, he really knows about all that stuff. [Short pause]
Tim: Al is my assistant. He assists me. [Tim puts on the gloves]
Rondall: I, I, I think you should listen to Jill, y'know, when I had mine put in, I had a couple of guys from Global View Satellites Installers.
Tim: Did you? That must have cost you a pretty penny, huh?
Rondall: Well, y'know, it was worth it when you consider that the installation requires a precise calculation of the declination angle of the dish in relation to the Equator. [Jill looks at Tim]
Tim: [Tim shrugs his shoulders] Yeah.
Rondall: Slightest deviation and the dish is useless. Of course, you know that.
Tim: Goes without saying.
Jill: Tim, call Al.
Tim: [Leans in close to Jill] Al is busy today.
Rondall: Of course, the important thing right now is that you just get that dish up on the roof.
Tim: No problemo, Rondanello! [Tim goes into the backyard]
Cut to the backyard.
[Wilson is potting plants]
Tim: Wilson! Wilson, you back there?
Wilson: Right here, good neighbor.
Tim: I was wondering, when you watch my show "Tool Time," do you think I'm funny?
Wilson: Well, I've got to be honest with you Tim, I've never seen the show. [Wilson comes over to the fence]
Tim: You've never seen my show?
Wilson: No, no, no, no. But I don't have a television.
Tim: Everybody's gotta TV.
Wilson: Not me. I just use my imagination. Watch the pictures inside my mind. [Short pause]
Tim: Cuts down on re-runs then, doesn't it?
Wilson: Not really, Tim. There's always déjà vu! [Tim walks over to the dish] Tim, I've got the feeling you've got something more on your mind than television.
Tim: Nah, not really, Wilson. [Tim watches Jill and Rondall through the window] It's just Jill is working on her résumé with this guy, a know-it-all type, trying to impress him.
Wilson: Hmm-mm, hmm-mm. That worries you.
Tim: Well, I, I'm not jealous, y'know. I'm the least jealous guy on earth, really.
Wilson: Curious thing about jealousy, usually it stems from insecurity.
Tim: Hum, there's no insecurity here, I'll tell you that. However much I'm not jealous, I'm twice as much not insecure!
Wilson: Well, you should be secure, Tim. You've got what every man dreams of.
Tim: Yeah, a satellite dish!
Wilson: No Tim. Three strapping boys, a nice home, a loving wife.
Tim: Hm. You're so right, y'know. Jill and I share so many great things. Memories, great food. We love eating, y'know. Laughter. Ho, nobody makes her laugh like I do. [Tim hears Jill laughing. He turns to look at Jill and Rondall. Grunts] Ho!
[Commercial break]
Cut to the backyard, later that day.
[Tim climbs down the ladder]
Cut to the living room.
[Tim enters. Jill and Rondall are at the table, laughing. Tim walks over to them]
Tim: What's so funny? What are you laughing at?
Jill: Oh, it's nothing, it's nothing at all, really.
Tim: C'mon.
Rondall: It's just.
Tim: We're always laughing around here. C'mon, what's so funny?
Jill: Well, O.K., it's, there's, there's a woman in our class that was always asking questions. [Tim laughs and makes himself a coffee] No, honey, that's not the funny part.
Tim: [Grunts] Ohh!
Jill: So anyway, this one day, Rondall asked if there were any questions and the woman stands up [Rondall starts to laugh] and forgets what she was going to say. [Jill laughs] Oh, it's really, I told you, it's not funny.
Tim: Hm, guess you had to be there.
Jill: [Laughing] Yeah, yeah.
Tim: I've gotta make some measurements for this cable, so you guys, er, just pretend like I'm not here.
Jill: O.K. O.K. Now listen, about this interview. [Jill stands up and goes over to a suit]
Rondall: Hmm. [Rondall stands up and follows Jill]
Jill: I was going to wear this blue suit with a plain white blouse. [Jill takes the jacket off the hanger to show Rondall the blouse] Now, is that just too block? [Rondall looks at the blouse. Tim starts measuring up]
Rondall: No, no. I like white. It's simple but it's classic. It shows you're not a slave to trends. [Tim laughs. Jill and Rondall turn and look at him]
Jill: Yes? What was that Tim?
Tim: Huh? Oh, ah, nothing. I was, I was thinking about that joke. She didn't know what to say! It just took me a while.
Jill: So anyway.
Rondall: Yes.
Jill: Rondall, this jacket has really big shoulder pads.
Rondall: Hmm-mm.
Jill: So should I take them out, because, y'know, you hear about how wide shoulders make your neck look small and peaky. [Rondall holds the jacket up against Jill]
Rondall: No, no, no. Wide shoulders show that you bear responsibilty. [Tim comes up behind Rondall, "shovelling" with his tape measure. Rondall turns around and Tim pretends to measure. Jill and Rondall look at him]
Jill: Er, maybe we should just, y'know, get back to the résumé.
Rondall: O.K. [Jill sits down at the table] Um, I've brought some samples over, which I've left in the car. I'll go get them. Be right back.
Jill: Oh, O.K. [Rondall leaves. Tim comes over to Jill. Laughing] Tim, what was this? [Jill "shovels"]
Tim: I was shovelling manure. [Jill laughs] You're not buying this crock. [Tim holds up Jill's suit] I love this stuff. Wide shoulder pads show strength and motion, and the color just brightens your eyes!
Jill: I know! I know! It sounds really stupid, but the guy is a professional. He knows what he's doing. Now what is the matter with you?
Tim: What's the matter with me is I'm seeing a guy in my house hitting on my wife.
Jill: What?!
Tim: C'mon. Don't be so naive. What, do you see what's happening here?
Jill: No?
Tim: Guy's over here on Saturday, drinking coffee, making you laugh!
Jill: Oh god, you're right! How could I have missed something so obvious? He's obviously just a great big walking hormone!
Tim: You laugh, you make jokes, I can smell testosterone right here. [Jill laughs] Oh, and just a wee bit of oestrogen thrown in, huh?
Jill: Tim!
Tim: Look at this. [Tim looks through Rondall's briefcase]
Jill: Tim! [Jill looks around] Get out of there! That is his personal property. [Tim holds up some breath mints and cigarettes]
Tim: Look at this. Breath mints, cigarettes. Huh, now I've got it. This is before, this is after! [Jill takes them from him]
Jill: Y'know, there maybe a very good reason for him to have breath mints. [Jill puts them back in the briefcase] I mean, Rondall may just have bad breath. [Rondall enters again]
Rondall: Actually, I don't.
Jill: Oh, oh, Rondall. I'm, y'know, sor-, just, y'know, sometimes when people smoke, they have bad breath. [Tim sniffs his breath] Will you excuse me for a minute, please. I want to talk to Tim. [Tim continues sniffing his breath]
[Jill pushes Tim out into the backyard]
Cut to the backyard.
Tim: Right then.
Jill: Tim, I haven't worked in a really long time. I'm really nervous about this interview that I have Monday. This guy is trying to help me.
Tim: This guy would be helping himself to you if I wasn't here. He'd have his hands all over you.
Jill: No chance of that. You haven't left us alone for more than 10 minutes.
Tim: Is that what you want? 10 minutes?
Jill: I just, I just want to finish my résumé.
Tim: Excuse me. [Tim opens the backdoor. Rondall is sitting down at the table. To Rondall] Excuse me Rondall, I'll be up on the roof, completely out of sight. You won't even hear me, rest of the day. I can't hear a thing, be up there all by myself. [Tim shuts the door again and climbs up the ladder. Jill goes back inside]
Cut to the living room.
Jill: I am so sorry for all the interuptions. [Jill comes over and sits down]
Rondall: That's O.K. Maybe we can do this another time.
Jill: Oh, but my interview at the Duncan Philips Agency is, is on Monday.
Rondall: Oh, oh, O.K. Well, then let's finish your résumé. We're almost done anyhow.
Jill: Thank you.
Rondall: Um, what time is your appointment on Monday?
Jill: It's two o'clock.
Rondall: Uh, why don't you and I have lunch together? [Jill looks at him]
Jill: Are you saying, er, lunch, just you and me?
Rondall: No.
Jill: Just the two of us?
Rondall: Course not. No, I'm a good friend of the V.P. in sales over there and I thought maybe you could join us before the interview. [Tims head pops down, upside-down, by a window]
Jill: Oh! Great! Great, that, that's, that [Jill signals with her hand for Tim to go back up] just would be a tre-tremendous help. [Tim goes back up]
Rondall: O.K. Now, um, when you put down your educational information, make sure, y'know, I'm sorry, I forgot. My friend won't be back from Cleveland on Monday.
Jill: Oh.
Rondall: Hu, but you and I could still get together.
Jill: No, wait, you mean that we're back to, uh, you and I, [Tim's head pops down again] alone, together? [Jill turns and looks at Tim]
Rondall: Hm-mm. [Rondall follows Jill's gaze and sees Tim. Tim goes back up] Jill, y'know your husband's hanging from the roof, spying on us.
Jill: No, no, he's not spying on us.
Rondall: Oh.
Jill: No, he's just hanging upside-down, uh, he does that all the time, to check things.
Rondall: Hm. I think he has a problem with me.
Jill: No, he really likes you.
Rondall: Does he?
Jill: Yeah. [Rondall laughs]
Rondall: I think he's a little bit uncomfortable with me. And I think it's because he's sensing what I've been sensing.
Jill: Which is what?
Rondall: Well, you have been sending out signals. [Jill looks at him]
Jill: Signals?
Rondall: Hm-mm.
Jill: What signals?
Rondall: Oh, you asked me out for coffee after class.
Jill: Oh, no, no. No, no. That was just, there were four of us, you were just across, way across the table.
Rondall: Yeah, but, y'know, everytime I turn around from the blackboard, I see you, staring into my eyes.
Jill: No, that's, that's just paying attention. That's a good thing.
Rondall: I don't know why you're fighting it, Jill. There's obviously something happening between us. I mean, I feel it, you feel it, it's chemistry.
Jill: No, I flunked chemistry. [Jill gets up and takes their coffee cups over to the kitchen. Rondall gets up]
Rondall: Jill, you're playing hard to get. I love that.
Jill: No, no, I'm playing no get. I am a no get woman. I'm a happy, married, no get woman, with a, with a wonderful husband.
Tim: [From outside] Ahhhhhh! [Tim falls down, tangled up in the rope. He is left hanging from the rope. Tim waves at them. Rondall waves back]
Rondall: ["Barking"] Ooo, ooo, ooo! There's Mr. Wonderful now.
Jill: Honey, are you alright?
Tim: [From outside] Just testing this safety line on this, honey.
Jill: Rondall, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Rondall: Oh, oh, that's good, that's good, that's good. You're pretending to throw me out because your husband can see us. [Jill gets his briefcase and coat]
Jill: No, I'm really throwing you out.
Rondall: I think you should speak a little louder, y'know, so he can hear you.
Jill: Here's your coat. [Jill throws it at him] There's the door. [Rondall starts to laugh. Jill marches towards the door. Rondall runs after her]
Rondall: Oh, that's a good touch with the jacket. I like that. [Jill opens the door]
Jill: Look, Rondall, you want a signal.
Rondall: Uh-huh.
Jill: Here is your signal. [Jill throws his briefcase down on the porch]
Rondall: Wait a minute. I'm confused. Does that mean we're not having lunch?
Jill: Get out! [Rondall goes out and Jill shuts the door]
Cut to the backyard.
[Tim is still hanging from the rope]
Tim: Jill! C'mon out here, please!
Jill: Tim, oh Tim. [Jill enters] I don't believe it. He tried, I am so embarrassed. I feel like such a fool. [Jill comes over to Tim]
Tim: Could you untangle that rope?
Jill: You were right. That slime came onto me. He wanted me to have lunch with him. [Jill grabs Tim's legs and pushes him upright]
Tim: Get him out here! C'mon out here! [Tim swings with his arms to try hit him. Jill stands back]
Jill: I took care of it. I threw him out.
Tim: Good for you!
Jill: He said I was sending him signals.
Tim: Jill, could you just untie this knot? [Jill pulls on the other end of the rope]
Jill: -- I don't send signals.
Tim: I know you wouldn't Jill, but we could talk about this some other time. My legs are really numb. [Jill comes over to him]
Jill: I am so sorry. I just never realized, y'know. I'm a married woman, I've got three kids.
Tim: You're a beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman. He'd be a fool not to hit on you. [Jill pulls Tim over to her]
Jill: Oh Tim. [Jill pulls Tim horizontal]
Tim: Hey! Wu! [Jill kisses him] Would you cut me down, please?
Jill: No, I like you like this. [Jill kisses him again]
Cut to the living room, that evening.
[Tim, Mark, Brad, Randy and Jill are sitting on the couch]
Tim: Alright, settle in. 200 chanels of family entertainment. [Tim points the remote] Seen it. Seen it. Seen that. Seen it. Seen it. Seen it.
Jill: Will you slow down. Just let me have that thing. [Tim hands her the remote]
Tim: Oh boy.
Jill: O.K. What's that?
Randy: Sumo wrestling from Japan.
Tim: Yu-toi-hu-hu.
Jill: Seen it. Oh, now, that's better. Opera!
Randy, Brad & Mark: Ahhhhhhhhh!
[Tim grabs the remote and changes the channel]
Cut to the "Tool Time" set.
[Tim is sanding a table top with a palm sander. Tim gets carried away with the sanding. Two members of staff come over and get him to stop. Tim takes off his goggles]
Tim: [Grunts] Ohh-ahh!

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