- "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."
- Ancient Celtic Proverb
[1.03] Off Sides
- "Better to have people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
- Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) (1835-1910), American Writer
[1.11] Look Who's Not Talking
- "There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your
philosophy."
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), English Playwright, from his play: Hamlet, Act One, Scene Five
[1.12] Yule Better Watch Out
- "A great lover is not one who romances a different woman every night; a
great lover is one who romances the same woman for a lifetime."
- Ancient Chinese Proverb
[2.04] Groin Pains
- "There is nothing so exhilarating than being shot at and missed."
- Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister (1940-1945,
1951-1955)
[2.06] The Haunting of Taylor House
- "Plato is dear to me but dearer still is truth. Piety requires us to honour truth above our friends."
- Aristotle (384-322 BC), Greek Philosopher
[2.10] Let's Did Lunch
- "A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day."
- André Maurois (Emile Herzog) (1885-1967), French Writer
[2.15] Love is a Many Splintered Thing
- "The universe is written in the language of mathematics - it's characters:
triangles, circles, other geometric figures. Without mathematics one wanders
about in a dark labyrinth."
- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642), Italian Astronomer
[2.18] Bye, Bye Birdie
- "Where wisdom is called for, force is of little use."
- Herodotus (circa 485-425 BC), Greek Historian
[2.19] Karate or Not, Here I Come
- "The cruelest lies are often told in silence."
- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894), Scottish Writer
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
- "Nothing I never said ever did me any harm"
- (John) Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), US President (1923-1929)
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
- "A harmful truth is better than a useful lie"
- Thomas Mann (1875-1955), German Writer
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
- "He who tells the truth will be chased out of nine villages."
- Turkish Proverb
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
- "For truth, there is no deadline."
- Heywood C. Broun (1888-1939), American Journalist and Author
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
- "I am in the habit of looking not so much to the nature of the gift as to the spirit in which it is given."
- Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894), Scottish Writer
[2.23] To Build or Not to Build
- "The manner of giving is worth more than the gift."
- Pierre Corneille (1606-1684), French Playwright, from his play: Le Menteur, Act One, Scene One
[2.23] To Build or Not to Build
- "There is a fine line between genius and madness."
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (circa 3 BC-65 AD), Spanish-Roman Philosopher, Dramatist and Statesman
[3.10] A Frozen Moment
- "Idee zu einer allgemeinen Geschichte in weltbürgerlicher Absicht."
"The important part of generosity is generosity of spirit."
- Immanuel Kant (1724-1804), German Philosopher
[3.18] The Eve of Construction
- "To get thine ends lay bashfulness aside. He that fears to ask doth be denied."
- Robert Herrick (1591-1674), English Poet, from his poem: No Bashfulness In Begging
[3.19] Too Many Cooks
- "Marriage is like an endless visit in your worst clothes."
- J.B. Priestley (1894-1984), British Writer
[3.20] It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims
- "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
- Ancient Chinese Proverb
[3.24] Reality Bytes
- "If you place a small value on yourself, rest assured, the world will not raise your price."
- A Philosopher
[3.25] The Great Race II
- "Obsessions are like fire and water: good servants but bad masters."
- Old Folk Saying
[4.02] Don't Tell Momma
- "You cannot speak of the ocean to a well frog, you cannot speak of ice to a summer insect."
- Chuang Tse (can also be spelt Zhuang Zi) (circa 275 BC), Chinese Philosopher
[4.08] Quibbling Siblings
- "You don't raise heroes, you raise sons; but if you treat them as sons,
they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes."
- Wally Schirra (1923- ), Astronaut, Commander Of Apollo 7
[4.13] The Route of All Evil
- "Our brightest blazes of glory are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), British Writer and Lexicographer
[4.17] It's My Party
- "Having the blues is like being in a deep pit yelling for help."
- Mahalia Jackson (1911-1972), American Gospel Singer
[4.20] Talk to Me
- "There is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather to cheer on the
tedious way to fetch one if one goes astray."
- Christina Rossetti (1830-1894), English Poet
[4.24] Sisters and Brothers
- "Punishment often increases the feelings of estrangement and strengthens the power of resistance."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German Philosopher
[4.25] A Marked Man
- "If you get caught stealin', throw 'em out."
- Carlton Fisk (1947- ), White Sox' Catcher (1981-1993)
[4.25] A Marked Man
- "The pleasure of talking is the inextinguishable passion of a woman."
- Alain Le Sage (1668-1747), French Novelist and Dramatist
[5.03] Her Cheatin' Mind
- "For it is your business if your neighbor's wall catches fire."
- Quintas "Horace" Horatius Flaccus (65-8 BC), Roman Poet
[5.06] Let Them Eat Cake
- "Won't you be my neighbor?"
- Mister Rogers, TV Character played by Fred Rogers on "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" between 1967 and 2001
[5.06] Let Them Eat Cake
- "You may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman, or the most audacious
soldier, put them at a table together - what do you get? The sum of their fears."
- Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister (1940-1945, 1951-1955)
[5.08] Room Without a View
- "There are people who do things and people who take the credit, and the
trick is to be in the first group; there is a lot less competition."
- Dwight Morrow (1873-1931), American Diplomat and Finance Expert
[5.10] Doctor in the House
- "True nobility lies not in being superior to another man, but in being superior to one's previous self."
- Hindustan proverb
[5.14] High School Confidential
- "Total security has never been available to anyone. To expect it is unrealistic, to imagine that it can exist is an invite to disaster."
- Edward Teller (1908-2003), Physicist "Father of the Hydrogen bomb"
[5.25] Alarmed by Burglars
- "All you have to do is be yourself and speak from your heart and your guts."
- Hubert Humphrey (1911-1978), American Politican
[6.01] At Sea
- "A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step."
- Chinese Proverb
[6.03] Workshop 'Til You Drop
- "That which does not destroy me only makes me stronger."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German Philosopher
[6.04] Burnin' Love
- "He who has not learned to obey will not be a great leader."
- Aristotle (384-322 BC), Greek Philosopher, Scientist and Physician
[6.05] Al's Video
- "Whatever women do, they have to do twice as well as men in order to be thought half as good."
- Charlotte Whitton (1896-1975), Canadian Writer and Feminist, Ottawa Mayor (1951-1956, 1960-1964)
[6.13] The Flirting Game
- "I want my picture painted warts and all."
- Oliver Cromwell (1599-1658), British Statesman, Lord Protector (1653-1658)
[6.16] A Funny Valentine
- "I gotta be me."
- Sammy Davis, Jr. (1925-1990), American Entertainer and Singer
[6.17] Wilson's World
- "There is no more lovely, friendly, or charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage."
- Martin Luther King (1929-1968), American Preacher and Civil Rights Activist
[6.18] Something Old, Someone Blue
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill "If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
To which Winston Churchill replied "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it."
- Lady Nancy Astor (1879-1964), British Politician
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister (1940-1945, 1951-1955)
[6.18] Something Old, Someone Blue
- "A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words can bruise the heart of a child."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882), American Poet
[6.19] Communication Breakdown
- "Truth, like surgery, might hurt but it cures."
- Han Suyin (1917- ), Chinese Writer
[6.20] My Son, the Driver
- "The male is a domestic animal which, when treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do anything."
- Jilly Cooper (1937- ), English Novelist
[6.23] The Feminine Mistake
- "Of all the barbarous middle ages, that which is most barbarous is the middle age of man."
- Lord John Byron (1723-1786), Scottish Poet
[7.01] Quest for Fire
- "There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything, or
to doubt everything. Both ways save you from thinking."
- Alfred Korzybski (1879-1950), Polish-American Linguist
[7.02] The Clash of the Taylors
- "A bird can only soar if the sky has no bounds."
- The Bhagavad-gita
[7.06] The Niece
- "We live as we dream: alone."
- Joseph Conrad (1857-1924), Polish-born English Novelist
[7.06] The Niece
- "In solitude alone can man know true freedom."
- Michel Montaigne (1533-1592), French Essayist
[7.06] The Niece
- "He who is alone and falleth hath not another to help him up."
- Ecclesiastes (4:10), The Bible
[7.06] The Niece
- "Everybody loves somebody sometime."
- Dean Martin (1917-1995), American Actor and Singer
[7.06] The Niece
- "A faithful friend is a medicine for life."
- The Book Of Sirach, Ecclesiasticus (6:16), The Apocrypha, The Bible
[7.08] Losing My Religion
- "Shake your booty."
- K.C. & The Sunshine Band, American Pop Group, from their song: (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty (1976)
[7.10] The Dating Game
- "I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end."
- William Blake (1757-1827), English Poet, Painter, Engraver and Mystic,
from his poem: Songs Of Experience, Song 49, A Poison Tree.
[7.11] Bright Christmas
- "Getting old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you never committed."
- Anthony Powell (1905- ), English Novelist.
[7.12] Old College Try
- "The wise parent nurtures the desire for independence in order to become a
friend and advisor when his absolute power ceases."
- Elizabeth Gaskell (1810-1865), English Novelist, from her novel: North and
South, Chapter XV Masters and Men.
[7.13] An Older Woman
- "A friend in power is a friend lost."
- Henry Adams (1838-1918), American Historian
[7.14] Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor
- "Falsehood is invariably the child of fear."
- Aleister Crowley (1875-1947), English Writer.
[7.17] Taking Jill for Granite
- "Each time a man stands up for an ideal, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope."
- Robert Kennedy (1925-1968), American Politician
[7.20] The Write Stuff
- "When in doubt, tell the truth."
- Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain) (1835-1910), American Writer
[7.21] The Son Also Mooches
- "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), American Philosopher, Poet and Essayist
[7.23] Rebel Without Night Driving Privileges
- "When one is at home, he dreams of adventure; and when one is on an adventure, he dreams of home."
- Thornton Wilder (1897-1976), American Author and Playwright
[7.24] Tool-Thousand-One: A Space Odyssey
- "We must hang together or else we shall hang separately."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), American Statesman and Scientist
[8.01] Whitewater
- "You look fine."
- Stirling Moss (1929- ), British Race Car Driver
[8.05] Al's Fair Lady
- "It is necessary to the happiness of a man that he be faithful to himself."
- Thomas Paine (1737-1809), American Writer
[8.05] Al's Fair Lady
- "Though God creates the mother, the breast and the milk, the children must
draw for themselves their mother's milk."
- Nasir-i Khosrow (17th Century), Persian Writer
[8.09] Mr. Likeable
- "You can't go home."
- Thomas Wolfe (1900-1938), American Novelist
[8.11] Home for the Holidays
- "There's no place like home."
- L. Frank Baum (1856-1919), American Author
[8.11] Home for the Holidays
- "The man who writes about himself in his own time is the only man who
writes about all people and about all time."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950). Irish Dramatist, Essayist and Critic
[8.14] Home Alone
- "Man's life is like a diary in which he means to write one story but ends up writing another."
- J.M. Barrie (1860-1937), Scottish Novelist and Dramatist
[8.15] Knee Deep
- "You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't."
- Lorenzo Dow (1777-1834), American Anglican Leader
[8.16] Mark's Big Break
- "The most potent instrument of action is prayer."
- Mahatma (Mohandâs Karamchand) Gandhi (1869-1948), Indian Leader
[8.18] Love's Labor Lost, Part I
- "Never up, never in."
- Lee Trevino (1939- ), American Professional Golfer
[8.27] The Long and Winding Road, Part III
