Images of the Cast of Home Improvement with the Home Improvement Archive title Words Of Wilson
"I'm reminded of..."
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."
Ancient Celtic Proverb
[1.03] Off Sides
"Better to have people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) (1835-1910), American Writer
[1.11] Look Who's Not Talking
"There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
William Shakespeare (1564-1616), English Playwright, from his play: Hamlet, Act One, Scene Five
[1.12] Yule Better Watch Out
"A great lover is not one who romances a different woman every night; a great lover is one who romances the same woman for a lifetime."
Ancient Chinese Proverb
[2.04] Groin Pains
"There is nothing so exhilarating than being shot at and missed."
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister (1940-1945, 1951-1955)
[2.06] The Haunting of Taylor House
"Plato is dear to me but dearer still is truth. Piety requires us to honour truth above our friends."
Aristotle (384-322 BC), Greek Philosopher
[2.10] Let's Did Lunch
"A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day."
André Maurois (Emile Herzog) (1885-1967), French Writer
[2.15] Love is a Many Splintered Thing
"The universe is written in the language of mathematics - it's characters: triangles, circles, other geometric figures. Without mathematics one wanders about in a dark labyrinth."
Galileo Galilei (1564-1642), Italian Astronomer
[2.18] Bye, Bye Birdie
"Where wisdom is called for, force is of little use."
Herodotus (circa 485-425 BC), Greek Historian
[2.19] Karate or Not, Here I Come
"The cruelest lies are often told in silence."
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894), Scottish Writer
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
"Nothing I never said ever did me any harm"
(John) Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), US President (1923-1929)
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
"A harmful truth is better than a useful lie"
Thomas Mann (1875-1955), German Writer
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
"He who tells the truth will be chased out of nine villages."
Turkish Proverb
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
"For truth, there is no deadline."
Heywood C. Broun (1888-1939), American Journalist and Author
[2.22] Ex Marks the Spot
"I am in the habit of looking not so much to the nature of the gift as to the spirit in which it is given."
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894), Scottish Writer
[2.23] To Build or Not to Build
"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift."
Pierre Corneille (1606-1684), French Playwright, from his play: Le Menteur, Act One, Scene One
[2.23] To Build or Not to Build
"There is a fine line between genius and madness."
Lucius Annaeus Seneca (circa 3 BC-65 AD), Spanish-Roman Philosopher, Dramatist and Statesman
[3.10] A Frozen Moment
"Idee zu einer allgemeinen Geschichte in weltbürgerlicher Absicht."
"The important part of generosity is generosity of spirit."
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804), German Philosopher
[3.18] The Eve of Construction
"To get thine ends lay bashfulness aside. He that fears to ask doth be denied."
Robert Herrick (1591-1674), English Poet, from his poem: No Bashfulness In Begging
[3.19] Too Many Cooks
"Marriage is like an endless visit in your worst clothes."
J.B. Priestley (1894-1984), British Writer
[3.20] It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
Ancient Chinese Proverb
[3.24] Reality Bytes
"If you place a small value on yourself, rest assured, the world will not raise your price."
A Philosopher
[3.25] The Great Race II
"Obsessions are like fire and water: good servants but bad masters."
Old Folk Saying
[4.02] Don't Tell Momma
"You cannot speak of the ocean to a well frog, you cannot speak of ice to a summer insect."
Chuang Tse (can also be spelt Zhuang Zi) (circa 275 BC), Chinese Philosopher
[4.08] Quibbling Siblings
"You don't raise heroes, you raise sons; but if you treat them as sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes."
Wally Schirra (1923- ), Astronaut, Commander Of Apollo 7
[4.13] The Route of All Evil
"Our brightest blazes of glory are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks."
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), British Writer and Lexicographer
[4.17] It's My Party
"Having the blues is like being in a deep pit yelling for help."
Mahalia Jackson (1911-1972), American Gospel Singer
[4.20] Talk to Me
"There is no friend like a sister in calm or stormy weather to cheer on the tedious way to fetch one if one goes astray."
Christina Rossetti (1830-1894), English Poet
[4.24] Sisters and Brothers
"Punishment often increases the feelings of estrangement and strengthens the power of resistance."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German Philosopher
[4.25] A Marked Man
"If you get caught stealin', throw 'em out."
Carlton Fisk (1947- ), White Sox' Catcher (1981-1993)
[4.25] A Marked Man
"The pleasure of talking is the inextinguishable passion of a woman."
Alain Le Sage (1668-1747), French Novelist and Dramatist
[5.03] Her Cheatin' Mind
"For it is your business if your neighbor's wall catches fire."
Quintas "Horace" Horatius Flaccus (65-8 BC), Roman Poet
[5.06] Let Them Eat Cake
"Won't you be my neighbor?"
Mister Rogers, TV Character played by Fred Rogers on "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" between 1967 and 2001
[5.06] Let Them Eat Cake
"You may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman, or the most audacious soldier, put them at a table together - what do you get? The sum of their fears."
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister (1940-1945, 1951-1955)
[5.08] Room Without a View
"There are people who do things and people who take the credit, and the trick is to be in the first group; there is a lot less competition."
Dwight Morrow (1873-1931), American Diplomat and Finance Expert
[5.10] Doctor in the House
"True nobility lies not in being superior to another man, but in being superior to one's previous self."
Hindustan proverb
[5.14] High School Confidential
"Total security has never been available to anyone. To expect it is unrealistic, to imagine that it can exist is an invite to disaster."
Edward Teller (1908-2003), Physicist "Father of the Hydrogen bomb"
[5.25] Alarmed by Burglars
"All you have to do is be yourself and speak from your heart and your guts."
Hubert Humphrey (1911-1978), American Politican
[6.01] At Sea
"A journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step."
Chinese Proverb
[6.03] Workshop 'Til You Drop
"That which does not destroy me only makes me stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German Philosopher
[6.04] Burnin' Love
"He who has not learned to obey will not be a great leader."
Aristotle (384-322 BC), Greek Philosopher, Scientist and Physician
[6.05] Al's Video
"Whatever women do, they have to do twice as well as men in order to be thought half as good."
Charlotte Whitton (1896-1975), Canadian Writer and Feminist, Ottawa Mayor (1951-1956, 1960-1964)
[6.13] The Flirting Game
"I want my picture painted warts and all."
Oliver Cromwell (1599-1658), British Statesman, Lord Protector (1653-1658)
[6.16] A Funny Valentine
"I gotta be me."
Sammy Davis, Jr. (1925-1990), American Entertainer and Singer
[6.17] Wilson's World
"There is no more lovely, friendly, or charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage."
Martin Luther King (1929-1968), American Preacher and Civil Rights Activist
[6.18] Something Old, Someone Blue
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill "If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
To which Winston Churchill replied "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it."
Lady Nancy Astor (1879-1964), British Politician
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister (1940-1945, 1951-1955)
[6.18] Something Old, Someone Blue
"A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words can bruise the heart of a child."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882), American Poet
[6.19] Communication Breakdown
"Truth, like surgery, might hurt but it cures."
Han Suyin (1917- ), Chinese Writer
[6.20] My Son, the Driver
"The male is a domestic animal which, when treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do anything."
Jilly Cooper (1937- ), English Novelist
[6.23] The Feminine Mistake
"Of all the barbarous middle ages, that which is most barbarous is the middle age of man."
Lord John Byron (1723-1786), Scottish Poet
[7.01] Quest for Fire
"There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything, or to doubt everything. Both ways save you from thinking."
Alfred Korzybski (1879-1950), Polish-American Linguist
[7.02] The Clash of the Taylors
"A bird can only soar if the sky has no bounds."
The Bhagavad-gita
[7.06] The Niece
"We live as we dream: alone."
Joseph Conrad (1857-1924), Polish-born English Novelist
[7.06] The Niece
"In solitude alone can man know true freedom."
Michel Montaigne (1533-1592), French Essayist
[7.06] The Niece
"He who is alone and falleth hath not another to help him up."
Ecclesiastes (4:10), The Bible
[7.06] The Niece
"Everybody loves somebody sometime."
Dean Martin (1917-1995), American Actor and Singer
[7.06] The Niece
"A faithful friend is a medicine for life."
The Book Of Sirach, Ecclesiasticus (6:16), The Apocrypha, The Bible
[7.08] Losing My Religion
"Shake your booty."
K.C. & The Sunshine Band, American Pop Group, from their song: (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty (1976)
[7.10] The Dating Game
"I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end."
William Blake (1757-1827), English Poet, Painter, Engraver and Mystic, from his poem: Songs Of Experience, Song 49, A Poison Tree.
[7.11] Bright Christmas
"Getting old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you never committed."
Anthony Powell (1905- ), English Novelist.
[7.12] Old College Try
"The wise parent nurtures the desire for independence in order to become a friend and advisor when his absolute power ceases."
Elizabeth Gaskell (1810-1865), English Novelist, from her novel: North and South, Chapter XV Masters and Men.
[7.13] An Older Woman
"A friend in power is a friend lost."
Henry Adams (1838-1918), American Historian
[7.14] Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor
"Falsehood is invariably the child of fear."
Aleister Crowley (1875-1947), English Writer.
[7.17] Taking Jill for Granite
"Each time a man stands up for an ideal, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope."
Robert Kennedy (1925-1968), American Politician
[7.20] The Write Stuff
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain) (1835-1910), American Writer
[7.21] The Son Also Mooches
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), American Philosopher, Poet and Essayist
[7.23] Rebel Without Night Driving Privileges
"When one is at home, he dreams of adventure; and when one is on an adventure, he dreams of home."
Thornton Wilder (1897-1976), American Author and Playwright
[7.24] Tool-Thousand-One: A Space Odyssey
"We must hang together or else we shall hang separately."
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), American Statesman and Scientist
[8.01] Whitewater
"You look fine."
Stirling Moss (1929- ), British Race Car Driver
[8.05] Al's Fair Lady
"It is necessary to the happiness of a man that he be faithful to himself."
Thomas Paine (1737-1809), American Writer
[8.05] Al's Fair Lady
"Though God creates the mother, the breast and the milk, the children must draw for themselves their mother's milk."
Nasir-i Khosrow (17th Century), Persian Writer
[8.09] Mr. Likeable
"You can't go home."
Thomas Wolfe (1900-1938), American Novelist
[8.11] Home for the Holidays
"There's no place like home."
L. Frank Baum (1856-1919), American Author
[8.11] Home for the Holidays
"The man who writes about himself in his own time is the only man who writes about all people and about all time."
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950). Irish Dramatist, Essayist and Critic
[8.14] Home Alone
"Man's life is like a diary in which he means to write one story but ends up writing another."
J.M. Barrie (1860-1937), Scottish Novelist and Dramatist
[8.15] Knee Deep
"You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't."
Lorenzo Dow (1777-1834), American Anglican Leader
[8.16] Mark's Big Break
"The most potent instrument of action is prayer."
Mahatma (Mohandâs Karamchand) Gandhi (1869-1948), Indian Leader
[8.18] Love's Labor Lost, Part I
"Never up, never in."
Lee Trevino (1939- ), American Professional Golfer
[8.27] The Long and Winding Road, Part III

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