Images of the Cast of Home Improvement with the Home Improvement Archive title

To Build or Not to Build

Episode No# 047
Written by:
Robert Zappia
Directed by:
Andy Cadiff
Transcript by:
Duncan Taylor

Tim Taylor - Tim Allen
Jill Taylor - Patricia Richardson
Randy Taylor - Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Brad Taylor - Zachery Ty Bryan
Mark Taylor - Taran Noah Smith
Wilson - Earl Hindman
Al Borland - Richard Karn
Guest Cast
Ann Guilbert - Wilson's Mother
Mickey Jones - Pete Bilker
Casey Sander - Rock
Gary McGurk - Dwayne
Pamela Denise Anderson - Lisa
Episode begins in the kitchen. Jill is cooking. Tim enters carrying a Binford box.
Tim: Hey.
Jill: Oh, hi. You've been shopping.
Tim: Yep.
Jill: Well, I know that's not my Mother's Day present cuz you leave that till the last possible moment.
Tim: Ha! This just happens to be your Mother's Day present. [Tim goes into the garage]
Jill: Oh yeah? What is it?
Tim: I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Cut to the garage.
[Jill follows Tim into the garage]
Jill: Ruin it.
Tim: Oh, no, no. I wanna see your face light up on Mother's Day.
Jill: Why? Is it a flame-thrower?
Tim: You're gonna love this.
Jill: Let me see. [Jill takes the box from Tim]
Tim: Ah.
Jill: Let me see. [Jill looks at the box] Ohhh, just what I always wanted: a muffler.
Tim: Well, if anyone could use a muffler, it'd be you!
Cut to the kitchen.
[Jill goes back into the kitchen. Tim puts the Binford box down in the garage]
Jill: I should have known. You and the boys haven't given my present a moment's thought. [Tim comes into the kitchen]
Tim: Yes we have.
Jill: You have not. You're just gonna run the boys to the nearest minimart and buy the first thing you see.
Tim: I encourage my boys to buy quality gifts.
Jill: Yeah, right. [Jill goes over to the kitchen unit] Like this, ah, multicolored [Jill takes an item out of the drawers] candy necklace. [Jill throws the necklace to Tim]
Tim: This isn't just candy, these are breath-mints.
Jill: Yeah. And [Jill produces a pair of dice earmuffs from the cupboard] these priceless things, here.
Tim: I bought those. Those are one of a kind.
Jill: Ever wonder why, Tim? [Jill puts the earmuffs on]
Tim: [Tim lifts one of the dice away from Jill's ear] A lot of women pay big bucks to look like a rear view mirror, hon. [Jill takes off the earmuffs]
Jill: Tim, I don't want you to go out and buy the boys presents to give me. Y'know, I want them to give me something that's from their hearts.
Tim: Alright. I'll get the boys together, we'll gear up this year. We'll make May 16th a day you never forget.
Jill: Mother's Day is May 9th.
Tim: I know. But out here we celebrate May 16th. It's Muffler's Day.
[Opening credits]
Cut to the living room.
[Randy is practising a magic trick. Tim enters]
Tim: Guys, guys, guys, c'mon! Huddle up. I want to talk to you before your mom comes down. [The boys go over to Tim, at the table] Mark, you're the look-out.
Mark: O.K. [Mark goes over to the stairs]
Tim: Alright. I don't want your mom to hear this.
Randy: What d'you blow up this time?
Tim: The toaster, but she knows about that. No, no, no, no. I wanna talk about a Mother's Day gift.
Brad: C'mon Dad, we still have four days till we have to buy her something.
Tim: No, that's exactly my point. She doesn't want us to do this; she wants something from the heart. So you know what we're gonna give her?
Randy: Blood?
Tim: No, vegetable breath, not blood. When we get home from work, we're gonna build her something.
Randy: C'mon Dad, let's just buy her something.
Brad: Yeah.
Tim: This is your mom we're talking about.
Randy: I know.
Tim: Do you know that you were a very difficult birth, hmm? Breach baby, hmm? Elbows straight up like a grasshopper's, hmm? A hundred-and-seventy-six hours of labor, hmm?
Randy: Right Dad. O.K. [Jill enters]
Jill: Hi guys.
Mark: Here she comes!
Tim: Ix-nay on the gift-ay ise-gays.
Jill: Planning my Mother's Day gift already? [Jill starts clearing away the breakfast dishes] Gosh, I'm so impressed I'm not even gonna ask you what you're buying me.
Mark: We're each gonna make you something.
Tim: Hey!
Jill: You're gonna make me something? I love that idea. Thank you. [Jill kisses Tim] O.K. guys, build away. Now boys, don't forget to put your lunches in your backpacks, and brush your teeth before you go, O.K? Bye.
Randy: Bye Mom.
Mark: Bye.
Brad: Love you. Have a good day.
Tim: Have a good day. Oh, you need gas in your car.
Jill: Oh d'oh. [Jill leaves for work]
Randy: [To Mark] Eh, way to go loudmouth. Now we actually have to build something.
Tim: Nice attitude. C'mon guys. I already took the hot rod out of the garage. When I get home from work, we'll turn it into "Man Central." Huh? Saw blades, cuts, slivers, blisters, [Grunts] oh-oh-oh-oh-ah! [The boys look at Tim, unimpressed] C'mon, a little Mother's Day grunt? [Grunts] I love you Mom, you're the greatest.
Brad, Randy & Mark: [Grunting, grudgingly] I love you Mom, you're the greatest.
Cut to the "Tool Time" studio, later that day.
[Tim & Al are presenting the Binford product corner]
Tim: Friends, having difficulty removing all that gunk out of that ugly bathroom drain? Well these are just a few of the products [Tim & Al point to the products on the table behind them] Binford gives you to remove dirt and grease, and in Al's case, loose beard hair. [Tim tweaks a hair from Al's beard] One of the most popular tools [Tim picks up a plunger] is called the plugger.
Al: That's right. You might want to remind our viewers... [Tim puts the plunger to Al's chin] to coat the... [Tim puts the plunger to Al's chin again] to coat the rim of the plug with petroleum jelly. This will help form a tight seal between the plunger and the drain.
Tim: Yup. Next, I'd like to show you Binford's closet auger. [Tim picks up the auger]
Al: Now this particular auger helps clear toilet clogs. [Tim swings the auger like a fishing rod. There is a water plop. Tim starts winding the auger back in]
Tim: Help me Al. I got a big one, a fresh water hairball.
Al: And finally, our favorite choice, the Binford trap and drain auger. [Tim puts the closet auger back on the table]
Tim: Normally called the snake. [Tim pretends to play a pipe. Snake charming music plays and the auger rises up from the table, like a snake. The auger climbs up to Al. Al tries to push it away. Al takes Tim's pretend pipe from him and snaps it over his knee. The music stops and the auger drops back down to the table] Remember folks, if it doesn't say Binford on it, you won't be able to flush it. [The theme music plays and Al salutes. Tim & Al run over to the main part of the set]
Al: Well, we're just about out of time.
Tim: But before we go, I'd like to talk a little bit about Al's mother.
Al: I'd prefer you wouldn't, Tim.
Tim: I know, but with Mother's Day coming up, I realized a lot of time I make fun of her on the show.
Al: Yes you do. My mother is frequently the butt of your jokes. [Tim looks at the camera and shakes his head]
Tim: Al, you make this too easy.
Al: Well you're, you're always poking fun of her cooking, of her weight, her love for bingo, her son.
Tim: Al, come in for a landing, O.K? Being Mother's Day, I thought I'd make her a gift, kind of a, hoo, peace offering.
Al: Really?
Tim: Lisa!
Al: W-well that was awfully big of you.
Tim: Well, I thought maybe those, [Lisa enters, carrying something made out of flannel] those festive Thanksgiving dinners, she might have a nice new apron. [Tim & Lisa unfold the flannel to reveal a huge apron]
Cut to the kitchen, later that day.
[There are signs on the garage door declaring it as "Man Central" and "No Moms allowed!" with "Toolbelts required beyond this point!" and "Keep out! This means you Mom" orders. Brad sneaks out of the garage, opening the door as little as possible. Jill is in the kitchen, putting food away]
Jill: What are you guys building in there?
Brad: Who said we were building anything?
Jill: C'mon, what are you making? [Brad gets himself a drink from the fridge. Tim comes out of the garage. Jill doesn't see him]
Brad: Can't tell you.
Jill: Oh.
Brad: Top secret.
Jill: Oh Brad, give me a hint. [Tim goes right up to Jill]
Tim: No hints!
Jill: Ah! [Jill jumps]
Tim: You've gotta be ashamed of yourself. And you call yourself a mother. C'mon son. [Tim & Brad go over to the garage door and perform a series of knocks]
Randy: [From the garage] What's the secret grunt?
Tim & Brad: [Grunting] Uh. [Jill sneaks a glance at them] Uh. [Tim & Brad check to see if Jill is looking] Uh.
Randy: [From the garage] Enter. [Tim & Brad go into the garage. Mark enters the kitchen]
Mark: Hi Mom. Can I have a popsicle?
Jill: Sure. [Jill goes over to the garage door and bends down so she's about Mark's height. She knocks on the door]
Tim: [From the garage] What's the secret grunt?
Jill: [Grunting] Uh. Uh. Uh.
Cut to the garage.
Tim: Access denied. Too much oestrogen content.
Cut to the kitchen.
[Jill gives up and goes over to Mark]
Cut to the garage.
[Brad & Randy are working on their gifts]
Brad: O.K. Dad, I'm all finished. All I need to do is let the glue set. [Tim comes over to have a look at Brad's box]
Tim: Great job on the little jewelry box, son.
Brad: Thanks.
Tim: Quick and very nice. Take a little gander at Randy's.
Randy: Don't bother. [Randy is making a bird house, but none of the corners are square] It stinks, Dad.
Brad: What is it? I can't even figure it out.
Randy: Well don't rack your brain; you might smash the pea.
Tim: Guys, give it a rest, O.K? [To Brad] Take five. [Brad goes into the kitchen] Don't worry about your brother. I think this bird house is really nice. I'll help you fix these walls.
Randy: What's wrong with them? They're up.
Tim: Well, if I use the mitre-box on them, I can take all the rough edges off and they'll fit real close together like this. [Tim shows Randy what he means with his hands]
Randy: I'll just paint over them.
Tim: Alright, if you wanna paint over them, but at least we'll sand down some of this rough stuff, O.K?
Randy: Look Dad, I'll just buy Mom something.
Tim: Don't buy her something.
Randy: But I don't like doing this stuff.
Tim: Yeah you like it.
Randy: Dad, I didn't want to do this in the first place.
Tim: Oh, why don't I just finish it for you?
Randy: Great. [Randy starts to leave]
Tim: Is that all that your mother means to you?
Randy: C'mon Dad, it doesn't matter. Mom's gonna love any piece of junk I give her.
Tim: There's a nice sentiment. Why don't you just put that on the card: "Happy Mother's Day Mom. Here's some junk I know you'll love. Randy." [Randy leaves]
[Commercial break]
Cut to the living room, later.
[Randy is lying on the couch. Brad is practising wrestling moves on him while they watch wrestling on the TV]
Brad: What are you talking about? This is the Norwegian Death Hold.
Randy: No it's not; I can still breathe.
Brad: Oh really, huh. How about this? [Brad pushes Randy's legs over his head]
Randy: That's it! [Jill enters]
Jill: Hey guys. Knock it off, c'mon. [Brad releases Randy] Gosh, I liked it better when you were out in the garage with your father. At least you weren't trying to kill each other. [Jill switches off the TV. There is a drilling noise in the garage] What's your father doing out there now?
Brad: He's working on Randy's project.
Randy: Hey, shut up Brad. [Randy throws a cushion at Brad. He catches it and throws it back at Randy]
Jill: Hey. Randy, why is your father working on your project?
Randy: I don't know. [Randy starts towards the stairs]
Jill: Randy.
Randy: Mom, I'm not good at building things. I don't care about tools.
Jill: Well then why did you decide to build me something?
Randy: I didn't; Dad said I had to. [Brad throws the cushion at Randy. Randy catches it and chases Brad around the house]
Jill: Hey, c'mon guys. Pillows on the couch. [Jill goes over to the garage and knocks on the door] Tim, let me in.
Tim: [From the garage] What's the secret grunt?
Jill: [Forcefully] Let me in now.
Tim: [From the garage] Close enough. [Jill goes into the garage]
Cut to the garage.
[Tim is working on the bird house. Brad's gift is covered with a cloth]
Jill: Why are you building Randy's Mother's Day gift?
Tim: I'm not. I'm just showing him the next step.
Jill: He's not in the room, Tim.
Tim: Alright, alright, he wasn't concentrating out here.
Jill: Well, maybe he's not interested in building stuff.
Tim: All my boys are interested in building stuff.
Jill: No. Randy's different, y'know. He likes performing, ventriloquism, magic.
Tim: He could build this.
Jill: Tim, you're still not getting this. I want the boys to give me stuff that shows their feelings for me.
Tim: What are you gonna do with a broomstick and pointy hat? [Tim laughs]
Jill: I'm laughing on the inside, Tim. Now look, I have faith in my boys that they will pick the perfect gift on their own.
Tim: Do you have the same faith in me?
Jill: No. No, I told you what I want: a fine dinner in a nice restaurant, O.K? [Tim & Jill kiss]
Tim: We should go to Chez Pierre.
Jill: I called them last week. They were booked solid. [Jill goes into the kitchen]
Tim: Should have called them and made reservations two months ago like I did. [Jill comes back to the door]
Jill: You did that?
Tim: Hmm-hm.
Jill: Oh, honey. [Jill goes over to Tim and gives him a hug]
Tim: Yeah, all set. Reservations for five, Mother's Day gourmet feast.
Jill: Hmmm. [Jill hugs Tim again] Is that the one with the corsage and the champagne and the live music?
Tim: Mais oui. [Jill jumps up and down, excited. Jill starts to leave] Boy, they go to a lot of effort on this bogus holiday, don't they? [Jill comes back over to Tim]
Jill: Excuse me, did you call Mother's Day a bogus holiday?
Tim: Well, it's, it's just invented by restaurant owners and florists.
Jill: So you don't think that women who go through the [Emphasizes each word] pain, torment and suffering of child birth don't deserved a special day?
Tim: You get a day; it's, er, Labor Day.
Cut to the backyard, later.
[Wilson is carrying an American flag]
Tim: Afternoon Wilson.
Wilson: Hidy-ho neighbor.
Tim: What's with the flag?
Wilson: Tim, I'm commemorating the up-coming holiday.
Tim: With a flag? It's not the 4th of July, it's Mother's Day.
Wilson: You see Tim, back in 1914 Congress passed a resolution establishing Mother's Day as an official holiday.
Tim: [Grunts] Uh?
Wilson: It was a proclamation calling on the public to display the flag as a sign of love and reverence to the mothers of our country, and it was issued by the President of the United States -- [Wilson fixes the flag above his door]
Tim: -- Wilson.
Wilson: Absolutely right, Tim, President Woodrow Wilson.
Tim: Well maybe old Woodrow took credit for it, but I bet his mom gave him the idea.
Wilson: Hmm-hm-hm.
Wilson's Mother: Wilson!
Wilson: Over here.
Tim: You have company?
Wilson: Oh, my favorite kind of company: Mother. She just flew in from the Yukon. [Wilson's Mother comes over to Wilson]
Tim: Really, I finally get to meet your mom.
Wilson: Ah-ha. [Tim comes over to the fence] Mom, I'd like you to meet my friend and good neighbor, Tim Taylor. [Wilson's Mother sticks her hand in the air so Tim can see her - she's shorter than the fence]
Wilson's Mother: Hidy-ho Timothy.
Tim: Hi.
Wilson's Mother: You must be the confused one my son helps out from time to time.
Tim: Yeah, yeah, I'm him. [Tim bends down to try to see her through the fence] It sure is good to meet you. [Tim sees an eye looking through a hole in the fence] Hoa! I-I see where Wilson gets his good looks. [Wilson laughs]
Wilson: Yes, I just flew her in to help her celebrate Mother's Day. We're going down to Greek Town to drink ouzo and dance the Horome. [Wilson and his Mother start singing and dancing]
Tim: Boy, you guys really like to get down, huh?
Wilson's Mother: You know it, baby.
Tim: Y'know Wilson, that was a great, it's a great idea flying your mom in like that. Randy, my, er, my middle son is having trouble thinking of something for Mother's Day for, for my wife.
Wilson's Mother: Oh, I'm sure she'll love anything he gives her.
Wilson: Hmm-hm. That's right Tim. After all, it was Pierre Corneille, the noted French playwright who wrote "I am in the habit of looking not so much to the nature of the gift as to the spirit in which it is given."
Tim: [Grunts] Oh, that's beautiful, yeah.
Wilson's Mother: Excuse me son, are you sure it was Corneille? I believe it was Robert Louis Stevenson.
Wilson: Well, by golly Mom, I think you're right.
Wilson's Mother: Pierre Corneille wrote "the manner of giving is worth more than the gift."
Wilson: Ah! Act one, scene one of his play "Le Menteur."
Wilson's Mother: Oh, you do your mother proud. [Wilson's Mother taps the top of Wilson's hat]
Wilson: Oh mom.
Tim: Thanks Wilsons. I was, um, enjoying this, er, quote-fest, but remember, I'm the confused one.
Wilson: Hm.
Tim: And I still don't know what to tell Randy about Mother's Day.
Wilson & Wilson's Mother: Hmm. Hm-hm-hm-hmm.
Wilson's Mother: The most important gift you can give any mother is to let her know she's loved and appreciated.
Wilson: I couldn't have said it better myself.
Tim: Enjoy your time here. Greek Town's a lot of fun. [Grunts] Oh-oh-yeah. [Tim goes inside]
Cut to the "Tool Time" studio.
[Tim takes his toolbelt off the peg]
Tim: Anyway, today we're gonna show you how to pour a concrete foundation. [Al is standing by a cement mixer]
Al: That's right, and we'll be mixing our cement with the Binford 2000 Cement Mixer.
Tim: That's right. And to get a little help with that cement mixing, we've got the cement mixing pros from K&B Construction company up there in Bay City, Michigan, to join us. And I expect a big "Tool Time" welcome for Dwayne, Pete and Rock. C'mon on out guys! [Tim applauds. Rock, Pete and Dwayne enter, wearing hard hats]
Rock: Hey! How're you doing!
Pete: Hey!
Tim: Alright, it's great to have you guys here.
Rock: Ah, it's always a pleasure to be here, Timmy.
Tim: Well, why don't we get started with that concrete. We've got to take our footing --
Pete: -- excuse me Tim. If we have just a minute, I'd, er, I'd like to read a poem, a short poem that I wrote for my mom.
Tim: Er.
Pete: She'll be spending this Mother's Day up at Michigan State.
Tim: University.
Pete: No, er, penitentiary. [Tim is taken aback. So is Al]
Dwayne: Pete! This is neither the time nor the place.
Pete: She was framed, Tim! [Al looks away]
Tim: I think, under the circumstances, we could drop our tools for a couple of minutes and give a salute to mothers anywhere, or anywhere they spend their time. Ha...
[Dwayne goes over to Rock, exasperated. Pete takes off his hard hat, and removes the piece of paper with his poem on it out of his hat. Pete holds his hat to his chest]
Pete: "An Ode to my Mother," by Peter Bilker. That would be me. [Dwayne and Rock take off their hard hats and hold them to their chests]
"Who etched this tattoo, [Pete turns his shoulder with the tattoo towards the camera]
In her purple muumuu?
Mother, mother. [Tim mouths the second "mother"]

Who posted my bail,
Every time without fail?
Mother, mother. [Tim mouths the second "mother"]

And who rushed to the car,
With my severed thumb in a jar?
Er, father, father.

But who sewed it back on,
When the doctor was gone?
Mother, Mother."
[Pete puts the poem back in his hat and puts his hat back on] Happy Mother's Day, Mom! [Pete holds up his thumb, which is twisted round!]
Cut to the kitchen.
[Randy & Tim wheel in a large trunk. Randy is dressed up in a suit]
Tim: You did a great job getting this working again.
Randy: Thanks Dad. I couldn't have done it without your help. [The trunk has a sign on the front which reads "The Great Randini"]
Tim: You're the one that got it all cleaned up, fixed that spring on the bottom.
Randy: And the best part is you're gonna disappear in it. [Brad & Mark enter from upstairs, also wearing suits]
Brad: O.K. Dad, we're ready.
Mark: We're ready.
Tim: Oh, alright. Honey, come on down, we're all set. [Tim & the boys stand in front of the trunk. Tim puts on his jacket] You guys know what to do. When she gets down here, on three, alright? [Jill enters, all dressed up] One, two, three.
Tim, Brad, Randy & Mark: [Grunting] I love you Mom, you're the best.
Jill: You all look like such little gentlemen. You're so clean [Jill kisses each of them in turn] and well-groomed.
Brad: Mom, you don't have to rub it in.
Jill: This is the best Mother's Day gift I could get. C'mon, let's go to dinner.
Tim: Whoa, whoa, whoa. [Tim gestures to Brad. Brad goes over to the counter and gets Jill's gift]
Brad: Alright Mom, happy Mother's Day. It's a jewelry box. [Brad hands Jill the box]
Jill: Brad, this is beautiful. [Tim pushes Mark over to the counter]
Mark: Look what I made you.
Jill: Let me see. [Mark takes his gift out of the bag] Hoh.
Mark: Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
Jill: Oh.
Mark: It's a recipe box. [Mark gives Jill to box]
Jill: I love this. Look at it, it's made out of popsicle sticks! What a surprise.
Randy: And Mom, here's my gift to you. [Tim & Brad move aside to reveal the trunk] A magic trick.
Jill: That is just what I wanted.
Tim: And it's real magic too. Serious stuff.
Jill: Yeah?
Tim: Prepare to be amazed by The Great Randini!
Jill: Bravo. [Jill, Brad & Mark applaud]
Brad: Bravo, bravo.
Randy: Thank you, thank you. And you all know my assistant Tim "The Toolman" Taylor. [Tim poses]
Jill: And a lovely assistant he is too, yes.
Randy: After I lock my assistant in the trunk, [Tim & Randy open the trunk lid] he will then disappear. Oops, what's this? [Randy pulls a skeleton out of the trunk] Oh, sorry. That's my last assistant. [Tim climbs into the trunk]
Tim: Oh boy, I tell you. You look a foot short. [Tim hands Randy one of the skeleton's legs which had fallen off. Dramatically] Close the lid! [Randy closes the lid and locks the catches]
Randy: Brad, you wanna help me out here? [Brad comes over to help Randy]
Brad: O.K. [Brad & Randy spin the trunk around]
Randy: Please observe that there are no holes of any kind except in my assistant's head. Abracadabra! [Randy taps the top of the trunk. Brad & Randy undo the catches and tip the trunk over. They open the lid. The trunk is empty] Ta-da!
Jill: I am amazed and astonished.
Randy: Now, I shall make him reappear. [Brad & Randy close the trunk lid and tip it back up again]
Jill: Oh, what is your hurry?
Randy: Abracadabra, don't stand near. Now my father will appear! [Randy taps the top of the trunk again. Brad & Randy open the trunk lid] Ta-da! Oops. [The trunk is still empty]
Mark: Hey, where is he?
Randy: I don't know. [Randy looks inside the trunk]
Jill: Well, these are all great presents boys. Let's go to dinner. [Brad & Randy close the trunk lid and lock the catches]
Randy: Bye Dad!
Mark: Bye Dad!
Brad: Love you!
Randy: Have a nice time. [Jill & the boys leave]
Tim: [From inside the trunk] Open the lid! [Tim knocks on the trunk] C'mon! There's something moving in here! I'm laughing on the inside, honey. I wanna laugh on the outside.
Cut to the "Tool Time" studio.
Al: [Singing]
"M is for the million things she gave me,
[Pete hands Tim a rule, folded to form an M. Rock and Dwayne get other items off the tool rack. Rock holds up a circular saw disc]
O means only that she's growing old,"
Rock, Pete & Dwayne: [In harmony]
"She's growing old,"
Al: [Dwayne holds up a T-square]
"T is for the tears you shed to save me,"
Tim: Guys, guys.
Al: [Ignoring Tim]
"H is for the heart of purest gold,"
[Dwayne also holds up a clamp, forming an H]
Rock, Pete & Dwayne: [In harmony]
"Of purest gold,"
"E is for their eyes with love lights shining,
[Pete holds up another clamp, forming an E]
R means right, and right you'll always be,"
[Al forms an R with his tape measure]
Rock, Pete & Dwayne: [In harmony]
"She'll always be,"
"When you put them all together they spell:"
[Currently, they spell "Other" as Tim is missing. Al, Rock, Dwayne and Pete turn to look at Tim, Tim gets out of his chair and joins them]
"A word that means the world to me,"
[Tim walks off]
Al, Rock, Pete & Dwayne: [In harmony]
"The world [They crouch down, and Tim runs back over to them and joins in the harmony] to me."
[Outtake from Binford tools scene]
Tim: Friends, having trouble unclogging that nasty bathroom drain? Well these are just a few of the Binford products [Tim & Al point at the products] to help you remove dirt, grease, and in Al's case, spare, no, loose, no...
[Beep. Cut]
Tim: Next I'd like to show you what we call the closet auger.
Al: Now this particular auger will clear -- [Tim pulls the auger back, ready to cast. Al can't remember what comes next. Tim & Al start laughing]

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