Images of the Cast of Home Improvement with the Home Improvement Archive title

The Write Stuff

Episode No# 171
Written by:
Jennifer Celotta, Adam England
Directed by:
Peter Bonerz
Transcript by:
Thomas B. Alb
Corrections should be sent to:
Duncan Taylor

Tim Taylor - Tim Allen
Jill Taylor - Patricia Richardson
Randy Taylor - Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Brad Taylor - Zachery Ty Bryan
Mark Taylor - Taran Smith
Wilson - Earl Hindman
Al Borland - Richard Karn
Heidi - Debbe Dunning
Guest Cast
Lauren - Courtney Peldon
Matt - Justin Shenkarow
Brian - Kaj Erik-Eriksen
Episode begins in a project house during a taping of "Tool Time". Tim & Al are wearing safety goggles. The "Tool Time" music plays.
Al: Well this particular condominium is part of the estate of the late Mrs. Wallace Danforth.
Tim: Late--Heck, I bet she doesn't even show up.
Al: Tim, Mrs. Danforth is dead.
Tim: Hmm. Well that would explain her tardiness then, wouldn't it. Well I guess we just will have to go on without her.
Al: That's right.
Tim: As will Mr. Danforth.
Al: Tim.
Tim: With the swinging bachelor parties he's gonna have, big parties. Whoo-hoo! [Tim dances around]
Al: Alright, well, what we are going to do be doing today is, we're going to take this wall out, so we can increase the flow from the living room into the dining room area.
Tim: But before there is [directly into the camera] construction, there is destruction.
Al: And who would know more about that than you, Tim?
Tim: [Grunting] I love destruction, yeah. [Tim picks up the floor plan that is taped to the wall]
Al: Alright. Now, before you take out any wall, you want to make sure that it's non-loadbearing.
Tim: The simplest way to do that is check out your blueprints. [Tim shows the plan to the camera]
Al: Hm-m.
Tim: We found out this wall is non-loadbearing, so we're gonna rip it out. And the safest, quickest way is using a claw hammer. [Tim takes the hammer from his tool belt and starts removing the wall piece by piece by continuously smashing the hammer into it]
Heidi: And to handle our debris, we'll be using this trash chute, [Heidi throws two pieces of wood out of the window onto the chute] which goes directly down to the dumpster below.
Al: A good thing to remember, one square foot of wall equals one cubic foot of debris. Remember that when reserving a dumpster. [Al comes back over to Tim]
Tim: Thank you, Humpty Dumpster. [The wall Tim is removing now already has a hole of about ten inches in diameter in it]
Al: Alright. Now we also have these buckets here for easy cleanup, Tim. [Al picks up the buckets] Do you have to make such a mess?
Tim: No, I don't have to, [Tim throws a piece of the wall onto the floor directly in front of Al] but I want to, I really, really want to. [Tim continues smashing the hammer into the wall, doubling the size of the hole within a few seconds]
Heidi: Next, we'll show you how to take out a stud. [Tim stops what he's doing]
Tim: Just buy me a meal baby, we'll do the town together.
Heidi: I don't think so, Tim.
Cut to a little later.
[The wall is almost removed, except for the wooden framing. Al is cutting through one of the beams with a power saw]
Al: Well uh, I'm using a reciprocating saw on these 2x4s, but it doesn't seem to be working too well.
Tim: [Tim comes over holding a sledge hammer] And I think the reason for that, Al, is because these boards are hard and brittle, with maybe some knots in them.
Al: Hm-m.
Tim: So that's why I'm gonna use a [Tim holds the hammer up to the camera] 30-pound sledge.
Al: Actually, a 20-ounce hammer would do the same thing.
Tim: Where would the fun be in that? And I got kind of a clever idea. In order to get a good solid grip on this, I put some of that sticky stuff on my gloves. Same stuff the NFL players use to grab on to the ball. I got it from my buddies down at the Lions. Thanks, guys. [Al & Heidi are standing near the wall on the other side of the room]
Al: Well that sticky stuff is against NFL rules.
Tim: Ah! I, I mean I got it from the Chicago Bears [Tim swings the hammer back and forth a couple of times, which then slips out of his hands and flies across the room and smashes into the opposite wall right where Heidi and Al are. Heidi jumps. The handle is sticking out of the wall horizontally with Tim's gloves still glued to it] Sorry. Hey. I know what I'll do next time, I'll put the sticky stuff on my hands, put the gloves on top, and then put on another coat of the sticky stuff. That way I'll get a firm grip. Always think safety. I'll do it right now. [Tim rubs some of the stuff into his hands]
Al: Well speaking of safety, it's always a good idea to keep a safe environment by cleaning up as you go along. [Heidi tries to lift up one of the buckets with debris but can't because it's too heavy]
Heidi: Tim, this is really heavy.
Tim: Don't bother, let me see it. Don't --
Heidi: Thanks.
Tim: -- worry, get your hands off of there, alright, [Tim picks up the bucket] look at this. Use your own momentum, Heidi, watch this. Swing it back, [Tim swings it back] it'll go right out the window. Look at this. [Tim swings the bucket forward, but owing to the "sticky stuff" on his hands the bucket pulls him out of the window and face-down down the trash chute right into the dumpster] Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! [Al and Heidi look out the window to check and see if Tim is alright]
[Opening credits]
Cut to the kitchen.
[Randy is sitting at the counter writing his newspaper article. Jill is standing behind]
Jill: [Reading] "Genetic mutations in the second half of the 20th century"? That's pretty ambitious for a high school newspaper article.
Randy: Yeah well, I'm really excited about this one. I've been working on it for two weeks. [Jill goes into the kitchen]
Jill: Great. You know, your, uh, your commitment to [Jill starts peeling a potato] quality comes from my side of the family.
Randy: What makes you say that?
Jill: "Tool Time." [Tim enters from the garage carrying his jacket]
Tim: Hi, honey.
Jill: Hey.
Tim: Hey Randy.
Randy: Hey. [Tim hangs up his jacket]
Jill: Guess what, I have a surprise for you. [Jill picks up an envelope]
Tim: [Grunting] Oh, I love surprises.
Jill: We're being audited.
Tim: [Grunting] I hate surprises.
Jill: Yep. [Jill hands the envelope to Tim who opens it]
Tim: Nooo...
Jill: They want all your business receipts from three years ago.
Tim: They do?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: These guys are nosy, who do they think they are?
Jill: They're the IRS, they can take away your possessions, your house, our cars...
Tim: Uh-uh, no no no, I love my country, but no offense, they're not touching my cars... How are we set with ammo?
Jill: Just find the receipts, alright?
Tim: This'll take forever.
Jill: I know. [Jill goes back to the potatoes. Brad enters through the front door]
Brad: Hey everybody.
Jill: Hi Brad.
Brad: Well, I talked to my college advisor, and she said I needed some more extra-curricular activities.
Tim: Well you could help me and your Mom starting our own country. [Jill laughs. Tim goes over to the computer]
Brad: Well I talked to the editor of the school newspaper about writing some articles.
Jill: I didn't know you were interested in writing.
Randy: I didn't think you know how to write.
Jill: Randy, instead of putting your brother down for trying to expand his horizons you could maybe help him out.
Randy: Alright. Well first thing you want to do is come up with an idea you're interested in writing about.
Tim: I've got something you could write about. How a big government bullies a little car guy, huh? [Mark enters from the front door]
Brad: I'll, uh, think of the ideas on my own.
Randy: Good luck.
Brad: Randy, haven't you learned by now that luck has nothing to do with my success?
Randy: What success, you live with your parents and share a bathroom with Mark. [Mark looks at Randy]
Mark: And you live in the basement with no windows and a laundry chute.
Randy: Yeah, but it's mine. All mine...
Cut to a room at school.
[Matt, Randy, Lauren & others are working on the next issue of the paper]
Randy: basically at the end of my article, I will, er, introduce statistical data from the EPA and the DEP.
Brian: Now will that data include the number of people who fall asleep reading your data?
Randy: You know Brian, I thought you'd take a bit more interest in mutations, seeing as how you are one.
Lauren: Randy, don't stoop to his level. Let me: [To Brian] You're a geek! [Brad enters]
Brad: Hey everybody. Sorry I'm late. I got my hand stuck in the soda machine. Huh.
Matt: Well, since you're the brother of our top reporter, we'll go easy on you. Everybody, listen up. This is, er, Brad Taylor.
Lauren, Brian & others: Hey Brad.
Brad: Hey.
Matt: So Brad, have you thought about what you want to write?
Brad: Yeah, I want to do something on sports and stuff.
Randy: That'd be great if our paper were called "News and Junk".
Matt: What specifically did you have in mind?
Brad: Articles on Lakeside High sports, like the locker room buzz, I was thinking we could get workout tips from our top athletes, and I'd ask them important questions like, "Hey yo! So what do you look for in a babe?" So that's my idea.
Brian: Hey, this sounds really cool.
Matt: It, er, has some promise.
Randy: You know Matt, if you want I can work with Brad, helping him come up with something a bit more substantial.
Matt: Why don't we let Brad room with his idea? Brad, have your article in by Friday and, er, we'll see what you come up with. O.K?
Brad: Alright. Cool, thanks.
Matt: Yeah. [Matt leaves]
Brad: [To Randy] Hey yo! So did you ever think I'd be ever working with you on this newspaper?
Randy: Hey no!
Cut to the living room.
[Jill is sitting at the table which is covered with documents. Tim enters carrying a cardboard box]
Jill: Tim, do you have those receipts we've talked about?
Tim: Got them right here, all categorized and alphabetized. [Tim opens the box and empties it out onto the table, then sits down] Next time I'm not letting the government off so easy. I'm gonna claim all seven dependents.
Jill: [Laughing] Seven?
Tim: Three boys, four cars. [Jill laughs]
Jill: You can't count the cars as dependents.
Tim: Why not? I buy them things, I feed them, I bathe them. [Brad enters from upstairs]
Brad: Hey everybody, guess what? They loved my idea for the paper.
Tim: Hey, good for you.
Jill: Congratulations. Hey, you and Randy are gonna be the next Woodward and Bernstein.
Tim: Excuse me? I think Joanne Woodward married Paul Newman? [Jill laughs]
Brad: Is that the spaghetti sauce guy?
Tim: Not only does he make spaghetti sauce, but salad dressing and popcorn. And: the dude races cars.
Brad: Now that's a talented guy. [Brad leaves]
Jill: [Looking over a document] This is an electrician's bill from when you shorted out the circuits. How is that a business expense? [Tim looks at it]
Tim: Because I put out the fire with a Binford fire extinguisher. [Jill throws the bill away. Randy enters through the front door]
Randy: Hey guys.
Tim: Hello Randy.
Jill: Hi, we heard the news! Brad's gonna be working at the paper with you?
Randy: Well yeah. The editor is going to let him write, but now that real work begins he's got to have his article in by Friday. [Brad comes down the stairs, about ready to leave]
Brad: Alright. See you guys, I'm going to the mall. [Brad puts on his coat]
Randy: Wait, shouldn't you start writing your article?
Brad: No, I've already done it. I did it during Spanish class and I must say, it's muy bueno.
Randy: You wrote an entire article in 45 minutes?
Brad: Sí, Señor. Adiós. [Brad opens the door]
Jill: Hey, Brad. Do you mind if we look at the article?
Brad: No, go ahead. [Brad comes back again and hands Jill the article]
Jill: Thanks. See you.
Brad: Alright. I'll be home before dinner. [Brad leaves]
Jill: [Reading the article] "Hey yo! By Brad Taylor."
Tim: I like the title!
Jill: "A locker room survey shows that our varsity baseball team prefers boxers to briefs, eight to one! The one wearing the tidy-widies declined to comment."
Tim: That's probably because the elastic strap is cutting his breath off, you know. [Randy takes the article from Jill]
Randy: This is pure fluff! [reading] "Hey yo! Tennis team's Drew Levin is now dating his mixed doubles partner Debbie Silverman."
Tim: Way to go, Drew!
Randy: Mom, they'll never put this in the paper.
Jill: Look, it's not a hard hitting exposé, but I bet the kids will find it fun and entertaining. [Tim takes the article from Jill]
Randy: Mom, if every paper had reporting like this, we'd have a nation filled with idiots.
Tim: [Reading the article, laughing] Ha ha, this is great! [Tim points at a line in the article]
Cut to school.
[Brian brings in a big box labeled "LAKESIDE REPORTER". Randy enters]
Lauren: Hey Randy.
Randy: Hey.
Lauren: This week's paper is out. You know, that was a really great article.
Randy: Well, thanks. You know, there is a lot more that I wanted to say, but I didn't want to hog the whole front page.
Lauren: [Lauren opens the box] Um, technically, you're not on the front page.
Randy: Technically, where am I?
Lauren: You know, I, I don't think that's really important. What matters is that you got your message across. [Lauren shows Randy a copy of the paper]
Randy: Hey well my message is on the page with next week's lunch menu. [Brian brings in another box] I'm buried under Soulsberry Steak!
Lauren: Randy, it's not that big a deal.
Randy: No, it is to me. I mean, what could possibly be so important that it bumps me off the front page? [Randy looks at the front page] "Hey yo! Look who's got a remedy for jock itch"?? [Brad enters]
Brian: [To Brad] Great article.
Brad: Gracias.
[Commercial break]
Cut to the kitchen.
[Randy is sitting at the counter, writing something. Brad enters from the backyard and is carrying a batch of newspapers]
Brad: Hey Randy. I'm sending the paper to everybody I know. Do you know what class I should send it?
Randy: How about low-class? [Brad gets some envelopes out of one of the drawers]
Brad: Whoa, I sense some hostility. [Brad comes over to Randy]
Randy: Oh, why would that be, Brad? Could it be cuz I've spent two weeks writing my article only to have it bumped off the front page with your mindless drivel?
Brad: You know, maybe yours got bumped off because mine was better.
Randy: Oh, let's see. Eco system on the verge of collapse, or rash in the groin area. [Jill and Tim enter from the garage]
Jill: Hi guys.
Brad: You know what your problem is? You're jealous of me.
Randy: Oh oh please! What would I possibly have to be jealous about?
Brad: That people like my article better than yours, or maybe people just like me better.
Jill: Brad.
Tim: Jill. [Meaning "Stay out of this"]
Brad: No no no, I'm more popular, I'm more athletic, and it looks like now I'm a better writer.
Randy: You are such a deluded egomaniac! [Randy gets up and walks up to face Brad]
Brad: No no, you're the one that's deluded, I mean you think that people want to read your boring intellectual crap? [They continue yelling at each other, indistinct]
Jill: Knock it off!
Tim: Guys, guys, guys! Stop. Stop, stop, stop! [Tim comes over and separates them] What is the problem here?
Randy: The problem is, Dad, that your oldest son is so stupid, he should be writing an article called "Hey, duh!" [Randy leaves to the basement]
Brad: [Shouting after Randy] HEY, I'M TALLER THAN YOU TOO!
Tim: Good comeback, Brad. [Brad heads off upstairs] Huh, well. It's good to know they're both getting along real well at the paper. [Jill looks through the paper which Brad left back on the counter]
Jill: Well look. "Hey yo!" is on the front page.
Tim: Well, great.
Jill: Randy's article is way back here, by the-- [Jill looks over the page and stops by the cooking article] Look, they make Soulsberry Steak the same way I do! Oh man, Randy must be just feeling awful about this.
Tim: Why, because his mom cooks like a cafeteria lady?
Jill: No look, Brad stole the spotlight away from him. We're going to have to help them out with this one.
Tim: Honey, no! I grew up with four brothers, and the last thing these two need is their parents interfering.
Jill: Well, I know, it's probably better to let them work this out --
Tim: Yes, yes.
Jill: -- on their own, but I'm their Mommy, and they're being so mean to each other!
Tim: Their Mommy??
Jill: Well? Do you think they will work this out on their own?
Tim: Yes, yes, yes. My brothers and I fought all the time, we always worked through it ourselves. And, and after the casts came off and, and Jeff got used to his glass eye, we were the best of friends.
Jill: Oh...
Cut to a little later.
[Tim and Jill are sitting at the table working on their taxes]
Jill: I just don't get it. Of all the people that they could have audited, why did they have to pick us? [Mark enters from upstairs]
Tim: I think that's pretty obvious, they go after the major celebrities.
Mark: Mind if I put up Brad's article on the refrigerator?
Jill: No, I think that's so sweet that you're so proud of him. [Mark sticks the article on to the refrigerator]
Mark: Actually, I'm doing it to annoy Randy. See, the more they fight, the less they rag on me. [Brad enters]
Brad: Do you guys know where Randy is? I need to talk to him. [Brad goes over to the kitchen]
Tim: Talking is good, that's a good idea. [Randy comes around the corner by the refrigerator]
Brad: [To Randy] Hey idiot, why didn't you tell me Samantha called?
Randy: Uh well, I figured she'd call you back, seeing as how you're so popular and tall. [Mark is still in the kitchen near the refrigerator, now standing right in the middle between Randy & Brad]
Mark: It doesn't get any better than this.
Randy & Brad: SHUT UP! [Mark leaves]
Brad: You know what my next article's gonna be? "Hey yo! Guess who'd beat the crap out of his wimpy brother"
Randy: Yeah, well I have a new title for your article. "Guess who'd beat the crap put of his pea-brain brother"
Brad: What are you trying to say?
Jill: Tim, do something about this. I don't like it.
Tim: I'll handle this. [Tim turns to the kitchen] Boys! Take it outside. [Tim turns back to the document he was reading. Jill looks at him]
Randy: Alright, let's go.
Brad: Alright. [Brad and Randy go into the backyard. Jill gets up]
Jill: Look, you go talk to one, and I'll talk to the other. [Jill goes to the backdoor and looks outside] This is getting out of control.
Tim: You're overreacting. Let them take care of this themselves.
[Brad is pushing Randy around in the backyard]
Randy: [Outside, seen through the backdoor] Doh!
Tim: Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm under-reacting. [Tim gets up and goes outside] Guys, guys, guys. Come on! Split up, come on. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Guys. [Tim separates them, to Brad] Stay out here, I want to talk to you, alright? [Randy comes back inside]
Jill: Are you alright?
Randy: Yeah, I'm fine.
Jill: Look, I want to tell you a story from when I was fourteen.
Randy: Oh God, not the flute story again!
Jill: It's not the flute story, O.K? Now this is a story about my mother. She.. bought me my very first.... tuba.
Randy: Ah, this is the flute story!
Jill: That's a good story!
Randy: I know, Mom, but I can't sit through it again!
Jill: Look, you know how much I hate it when you guys fight.
Randy: Well then you shouldn't be talking to me, you should be telling your flute story to Mr. Hey Yo-Yo.
Jill: Look, I wouldn't interfere at all if you guys would work this out the way you're supposed to.
Randy: What's the big deal if we don't work it out?
Jill: The big deal is that Brad's going away to college in a year. And you only have so much time left, that you can hang out together. You should take advantage of it while you got it.
Randy: Well that would work. If we could stand the sight of each other.
Jill: I don't believe that's true! I don't think you do either.
Mark: I do.
[Randy leaves to his room]
Meanwhile in the backyard.
Tim: What's going on with you?
Brad: Dad, I don't want to talk about it.
Tim: You gotta talk to me about this. Look, all brothers fight, O.K? When I was a kid I got in a terrible fight with Uncle Steve, I, I borrowed his '56 Chevy, without his permission, --
Brad: Dad, what's your point?
Tim: I drove it into Courton Lake!
Brad: Oh man, I bet when Uncle Steve beat you up it hurt.
Tim: He roped me up a little bit. The point is, this fight put a big distance between us. It really hurt our relationship.
Brad: Well Uncle Steve is a lot bigger than you, I mean, he's got those huge arms.
Tim: What I'm trying to tell you is, this kind of fighting can hurt your relationship with your brother.
Brad: Oh yeah, I bet Uncle Steve whopped your butt, ha ha.
Tim: He didn't whop my butt. As a matter of fact, if he were here right now I would whop his butt. He's bigger and softer now. I'd grab Mr. Porkbelly by the flab [Tim starts to hit out at imaginary Uncle Steve] and go, "Hey man, who's the kid now, huh. How about that Chevy thing..."
Brad: Dad!
Tim: Hold on a minute. "I - tell - you - what..."
Brad: DAD!
Tim: WHAT??
Brad: Look, I know what you're trying to say, but if you think I'm gonna go in there and talk to Randy you can forget about it.
Tim: I would just hate to think that a newspaper article would come between you and your brother.
Brad: Yeah, why don't you go tell that to mutant boy?
Tim: And I don't like you calling him names either.
Brad: You just called Uncle Steve Mr. Porkbelly.
Tim: Well that's a term of affection, you know, cuz you know how I like bacon.
Cut to the backyard, a little later.
[Randy enters with a stack of newspapers and dumps all but one into the trash, then looks at the front page article one last time. Wilson is watching him from behind the fence]
Wilson: Well, hidy-ho, Taylor teen.
Randy: Hey Wilson.
Wilson: Shouldn't you be putting those newspapers in the recycling bin?
Randy: No. Thanks to "Hey yo!" this paper is definitely trash. [Randy throws the last paper into the bin too and turns to Wilson]
Wilson: Ohhh, I take it, you didn't like Brad's article.
Randy: Did you read it?
Wilson: Yes, he gave a copy of it to me a few moments ago.
Randy: Surprised he didn't frame it for you.
Wilson: Well actually, he did. [Wilson shows Randy the framed article. Randy climbs onto one of the garden chairs]
Randy: You know Wilson, I've worked for two years at that paper, trying to produce quality journalism.
Wilson: And Brad waltzes in and steals your thunder.
Randy: Well it's not so much that he stole my thunder, it's just what he stole it with.
Wilson: Jock itch.
Randy: You got it.
Wilson: Randy, let me ask you something. If Brad had written a brilliant article, would you feel any differently?
Randy: Well I might be a bit jealous, but at least I would have respected it.
Wilson: You know, despite of what anyone might think of Brad's article, it doesn't diminish the quality of yours. You know Robert Kennedy once said, "Each time a man stands up for an ideal, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope."
Randy: Wilson, I'd like to believe that, but how do I keep pouring my heart into my writing if people are more interested in who's scratching where?
Wilson: You know Randy, once I was a young columnist for the Wichita Star. Then one day I got bumped for my featured column by this hotshot named Walter Winchill.
Randy: Walter Winchill?
Wilson: Oh yes, the God of Gossip, the Earl of Innuendo, the Prince of Propaganda, the Duke of D--
Randy: Wilson, I get it.
Wilson: No-no-no, I've got one more. The Baron of Baloney.
Randy: So what were you going to say?
Wilson: Well it was just that I was so outraged by being upstaged by Winchill, I wanted to quit. And then suddenly I realized, if more people buy the paper to read Winchill's column, more people are gonna read mine.
Randy: So maybe "Hey yo!" can do for me what Winchill did for you?
Wilson: Absolutely. As a matter of fact, because of him the readership doubled for my column, "Rock Beat".
Randy: You wrote about Rock'n'Roll?
Wilson: No no, no no no. Rocks!
Cut to school.
[Brad is working on the computer. Brian hands him some research data]
Brian: Here's your research, Brad.
Brad: [Reading] "Cheerleader Jenny Morrison is doing some major padding." [Brian nods and puts on a big smile] "A baton twirler who spoke on the condition of anonymity has actually seen Jenny wad the tissues." No, I'm not gonna print that.
Brian: Why not?
Brad: Well because this is "Hey yo!". I have standards.
Brian: Brad, you printed the names of the guys that don't shower after gym class.
Brad: Yeah, you're just mad because your name was on the list. Ha ha. [Brian leaves. Randy enters and comes over to Brad]
Randy: Hey, Brad.
Brad: If you need the computer, I'm almost off.
Randy: Nah, that's alright. Listen, I wanted to talk to you.
Brad: 'bout what?
Randy: Well, I just reread your article, and, took some shots at it that weren't fair.
Brad: And you liked it?
Randy: Well I thought there were some good things in it. You know I didn't know our mascot was allergic to cats.
Brad: Thanks.
Randy: You know, you're kind of like a modern day Walter Winchill.
Brad: The donut guy? [Pause]
Randy: O.K...
Brad: So, um, what are you planning on writing about next?
Randy: You know I haven't really thought about it. Still kind of calming down from my last article.
Brad: Yeah, it was pretty intense.
Randy: You actually read it??
Brad: Yeah, I read it, I really didn't understand what I was reading, but, I could definitely tell you're a talented writer.
Randy: Thanks. You know, maybe one day we can combine our talents and write something together. "Hey yo! Did you see what Ralph Nader wore to the latest EPA conference?"
Brad: Or if he's got jock itch, we've got a story!
Cut to the living room.
[Tim & Jill are on the couch. Tim is reading a magazine]
Jill: This auditor is in for a big surprise. After adding together all the receipts from three years ago, we overpaid our taxes. We are gonna get a refund.
Tim: Hello, speed boat.
Jill: Three dollars, and seventeen cents.
Tim: Hello, sun block.
Jill: Yeah... You know, as long as we're in this tax mood, I think we should finish this year's taxes and mail 'em in early.
Tim: Why would we want to do that?
Jill: Because every year we wait until what, five minutes before midnight on, on April 15th, and then you get into the car and drive a hundred and fifty miles an hour, your heart pounding, your face drenched with sweat.
Tim: Please don't take that away from me.
Cut to the project house.
Heidi: Welcome back to "Tool Time" on location. [Tim and Al are standing by the window. Al salutes]
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. We're back in our condin- continu- fordinforgetthe--
[Beep, cut]
Al: Well, I'm using a reciprocating saw on these 2x4s, [Heidi stumbles past in the background] but it doesn't seem to be-- [Turns to Heidi] Are you alright there, Heidi?
Cut to the kitchen.
[Tim is reading the letter, Jill is peeling potatoes. Brad enters through the front door]
Brad: Well, I talked to my college advisor, and she said I needed some more extra-curricular activities.
Tim: You could start by helping your Mom and me for-uh fafi-ish-afagabi. [Brad laughs]
Cut to the kitchen.
Randy: Well you know I have a new article for your title... No I don't, I have a new title for your article! [They both start laughing]
Cut to the living room.
[Tim is sitting at the table, Jill is looking out the backdoor]
Jill: It's getting very out of control.
Tim: You're overreacting, let them deal with this themselves. [Brad and Randy appear in the backyard, fencing. Jill laughs]

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